ever feel like you could be anyone and it wouldnt matter? for instance...at my last job...when i was there they always said "oh rachael, what would we do without you?", and when i left it was "how are we going to manage without out you?". and yet, they havent replied to any of my "keeping in touch" efforts. so much for not being able to live without me...
basically what they were saying is that it isnt ME. it isnt rachael bree frentheway/ice that they cant live without, its anyone in that particular position. doesnt matter who it is...could be a creepy, old, 90 year old man, as long as he did his job correctly.
so...anyone ever feel that way about life sometimes? not just with where you work, or your career position...but like with your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, friends, hobbies...everything. like you are just a filler, and could be replaced by anyone?
I think i feel that way when i go to concerts sometimes. like last night, we went to see ben harper in nashville (great show, shitty drive until 4am). i know that jonathon doesnt necesarrily mean to come across this way, but when we go i honestly could be anyone standing/sitting next to him. sometimes the insecure me says that, to him, it doesnt matter that is RACHAEL ICE sitting next to him, it just matters that its someone. when he begs me to go to a show...i often think that he doesnt really care if its ME per se, he just doesnt want to go alone, or doesnt want to drive all the way home alone. at the show its not like we talk or interact at all. he is taping and focused on that, and i have to be quiet FOR his tape. even before the show, he is focused on getting there, taping and then all the people that come up to him. which, its all fine...i know, its his hobby...and i am not complaining about that. just simply stating the way i feel sometimes.
and its not just with jonathon and shows...its with friends, and co-workers too. maybe thats just me realizing a reality of life? i am completely replaceable, and anything that i have to offer...its not new, or exciting, or rare....its replaceable by anyone willing to fill the position.
kind of sad if you think about it.
basically what they were saying is that it isnt ME. it isnt rachael bree frentheway/ice that they cant live without, its anyone in that particular position. doesnt matter who it is...could be a creepy, old, 90 year old man, as long as he did his job correctly.
so...anyone ever feel that way about life sometimes? not just with where you work, or your career position...but like with your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, friends, hobbies...everything. like you are just a filler, and could be replaced by anyone?
I think i feel that way when i go to concerts sometimes. like last night, we went to see ben harper in nashville (great show, shitty drive until 4am). i know that jonathon doesnt necesarrily mean to come across this way, but when we go i honestly could be anyone standing/sitting next to him. sometimes the insecure me says that, to him, it doesnt matter that is RACHAEL ICE sitting next to him, it just matters that its someone. when he begs me to go to a show...i often think that he doesnt really care if its ME per se, he just doesnt want to go alone, or doesnt want to drive all the way home alone. at the show its not like we talk or interact at all. he is taping and focused on that, and i have to be quiet FOR his tape. even before the show, he is focused on getting there, taping and then all the people that come up to him. which, its all fine...i know, its his hobby...and i am not complaining about that. just simply stating the way i feel sometimes.
and its not just with jonathon and shows...its with friends, and co-workers too. maybe thats just me realizing a reality of life? i am completely replaceable, and anything that i have to offer...its not new, or exciting, or rare....its replaceable by anyone willing to fill the position.
kind of sad if you think about it.
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