hmm, is it sad that everytime i log in to bloc, they have changed the format? I think I like the last one better. it was WAY user friendly, and that's what I need...user friendly!
regardless. just got off the phone with my older brother. man, its so interesting, the transition from "siblings" to "adult siblings/friends". I think *I* still see myself as his little sister, yet he considers me an actual adult. in fact, I think I see myself as a child around almost everyone (except those that TREAT me like a child). but that's not my point here...
so I just got done talking to him. apparently, my sister-in-law (who is preggers with her 4th, and is due in august...though, I doubt she goes that long) is now officially on bedrest due to her leg bursting (not really, just the veins are soo swollen and filled with fluid, that she cant walk at all). here she is, with 3 small kids, one more on the way, and has to stay in bed. apparently they are having one of my parents' really good friend's daughter (get that?) move to AZ for the summer, and they are going to pay her to be the nanny and help melissa out. on top of all that, they just sold their house and have to be out at the end of the month...AND they have no place to move to yet. yowza!
MAYBE THEY CAN MOVE HERE AND LIVE WITH US!!! I would LOVE that! we could SHIFT the families! :)
anyway...on a selfish note...as time goes by (and it does...WAY too fast!) I find myself missing my family more and more. its been interesting, this journey that I have been on where my family is concerned. 3 years ago, I could wait to get out of AZ and on with "my life"...make my own decisions...do my own thing. and that's what I have done. there has been SO much stress where my family is concerned, and whether or not they "accept me and the decisions that I make" that the better part of 3 years, I have been pretty much numb to them as my family. however, now that *I* am more comfortable with MY decisions, and am really learning WHO I am (meaning, I am STILL learning what I like, and what I dont, what I can put up with, and what I cant, or dont want to), I feel this incredible void where family is concerned. I keep thinking that this feeling of being "homesick" will go away, and that's all it is...homesick...but it just keeps getting worse and worse. its REALLY hard for me to even talk to my family too often, because I find myself getting fairly upset that I (and I mean, Jonathon and I) am not around to be a part of them.
What gets me the most is my little brother, and my nephews. OOOH that just KILLS me! There was about 8 or 9 months, when my brother moved back to Gilbert and my sister-in-law was trying to be young/college student...but married with a kid, that I was ALWAYS watching Kreed. To the point of everyday, ALL day. I LOVED it! He is SUCH a great kid, and what gets me most is how much he misses Jon and I. ALL the kids do, and it is SO fun to be around them when we are...and SO hard to leave when we have to.
I guess the gist of it all is is that I have realized how important my family is to me...and maybe I always knew that, but was always ashamed to say it. Or too afraid to. I dont know...ONE DAY...and I mean that, hoping that it will be in the not too distant future (2 years max maybe?) that we will move to AZ and be closer to them. ahh, AZ...I think my "living away for a while" are coming to a close. My poor husband...;)
regardless. just got off the phone with my older brother. man, its so interesting, the transition from "siblings" to "adult siblings/friends". I think *I* still see myself as his little sister, yet he considers me an actual adult. in fact, I think I see myself as a child around almost everyone (except those that TREAT me like a child). but that's not my point here...
so I just got done talking to him. apparently, my sister-in-law (who is preggers with her 4th, and is due in august...though, I doubt she goes that long) is now officially on bedrest due to her leg bursting (not really, just the veins are soo swollen and filled with fluid, that she cant walk at all). here she is, with 3 small kids, one more on the way, and has to stay in bed. apparently they are having one of my parents' really good friend's daughter (get that?) move to AZ for the summer, and they are going to pay her to be the nanny and help melissa out. on top of all that, they just sold their house and have to be out at the end of the month...AND they have no place to move to yet. yowza!
MAYBE THEY CAN MOVE HERE AND LIVE WITH US!!! I would LOVE that! we could SHIFT the families! :)
anyway...on a selfish note...as time goes by (and it does...WAY too fast!) I find myself missing my family more and more. its been interesting, this journey that I have been on where my family is concerned. 3 years ago, I could wait to get out of AZ and on with "my life"...make my own decisions...do my own thing. and that's what I have done. there has been SO much stress where my family is concerned, and whether or not they "accept me and the decisions that I make" that the better part of 3 years, I have been pretty much numb to them as my family. however, now that *I* am more comfortable with MY decisions, and am really learning WHO I am (meaning, I am STILL learning what I like, and what I dont, what I can put up with, and what I cant, or dont want to), I feel this incredible void where family is concerned. I keep thinking that this feeling of being "homesick" will go away, and that's all it is...homesick...but it just keeps getting worse and worse. its REALLY hard for me to even talk to my family too often, because I find myself getting fairly upset that I (and I mean, Jonathon and I) am not around to be a part of them.
What gets me the most is my little brother, and my nephews. OOOH that just KILLS me! There was about 8 or 9 months, when my brother moved back to Gilbert and my sister-in-law was trying to be young/college student...but married with a kid, that I was ALWAYS watching Kreed. To the point of everyday, ALL day. I LOVED it! He is SUCH a great kid, and what gets me most is how much he misses Jon and I. ALL the kids do, and it is SO fun to be around them when we are...and SO hard to leave when we have to.
I guess the gist of it all is is that I have realized how important my family is to me...and maybe I always knew that, but was always ashamed to say it. Or too afraid to. I dont know...ONE DAY...and I mean that, hoping that it will be in the not too distant future (2 years max maybe?) that we will move to AZ and be closer to them. ahh, AZ...I think my "living away for a while" are coming to a close. My poor husband...;)
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home