there is this girl at work, natalie, that seems very fragile. not sure what i mean by that, but just the way that she holds herself and presents herself. she is very thin...frail even. nice, sweet person. about a month ago (maybe a bit more), she was out of the office for a week or so because he boyfriend broke up with her...and it crushed her. apparently she had moved here from bloomington to be with him, and then all the sudden he freaked and told her that he didnt want her anymore (the guy is a JERK if you ask me). in reaction to this news, natalie freaked as well...and pretty much broke down. she was smart enough to go get professional help and is working on the hurt she felt during this time. the STUPID thing is that they are back together. she is very scared though, you can tell. she is being cautious (though, not cautious enough...again, MY opinion). anyway, my point is is that natalie often comes to me, when its quiet, to get my opinion on things that he does...and what she should do to handle him or the situation (yeah, like i said, she is kinda messed up and very sensitive...i am not sure if coming to me is the best thing to do...as i tend to be paranoid and sensitive as well).
anyway, today, she sat down asked me about what i would do if i found "playboy" in my boyfriends car...house...whereever...his posession. she told me that she had found one in his car...and didnt quite know if her feelings of "rejection" were valid or if she was just being dumb. she also told me that her boyfriend had lied to her and told her that he had "gotten rid" of all his magazines and videos...only to find out that he hadnt. i think THAT was more of a blow to her than him actually have a magazing...he lied.
anyway...we talked about it for a while, i gave her my opinion and my advice. on her way out she said "wish me luck at home tonight". of course...
this all got me thinking about what happens when i am faced with the this kind of stuff . after all "its a guy thing, thats what guys do" (thats MOST men's 'excuse' for it). regardless....knowing this, does not mean that i accept it. for some reason, i have a huge problem with it, and it has nothing to do with trying to control, or prevent him from getting his "jollies". no, not at all. it has to do with feeling inadequate where his fantasy is concerned...i just find it degrading.
and the fact that natalie's boyfriend LIED to her about it...that makes it all even worse. she is already feeling inadequate and pretty much unattractive to the person that she claims to love, and then he lies to her about it? thus making her feel even MORE inadequate. its sick and its sad.
not quite sure why i am thinking about this, maybe because i know how she feels, or can imagine it, and it scares me a bit. regardless...its such a mainstream thing, you'd think that women would get over it and let it go and UNDERSTAND that its not a "personal" thing (as i have been told). i dont know...
uhg.
anyway, today, she sat down asked me about what i would do if i found "playboy" in my boyfriends car...house...whereever...his posession. she told me that she had found one in his car...and didnt quite know if her feelings of "rejection" were valid or if she was just being dumb. she also told me that her boyfriend had lied to her and told her that he had "gotten rid" of all his magazines and videos...only to find out that he hadnt. i think THAT was more of a blow to her than him actually have a magazing...he lied.
anyway...we talked about it for a while, i gave her my opinion and my advice. on her way out she said "wish me luck at home tonight". of course...
this all got me thinking about what happens when i am faced with the this kind of stuff . after all "its a guy thing, thats what guys do" (thats MOST men's 'excuse' for it). regardless....knowing this, does not mean that i accept it. for some reason, i have a huge problem with it, and it has nothing to do with trying to control, or prevent him from getting his "jollies". no, not at all. it has to do with feeling inadequate where his fantasy is concerned...i just find it degrading.
and the fact that natalie's boyfriend LIED to her about it...that makes it all even worse. she is already feeling inadequate and pretty much unattractive to the person that she claims to love, and then he lies to her about it? thus making her feel even MORE inadequate. its sick and its sad.
not quite sure why i am thinking about this, maybe because i know how she feels, or can imagine it, and it scares me a bit. regardless...its such a mainstream thing, you'd think that women would get over it and let it go and UNDERSTAND that its not a "personal" thing (as i have been told). i dont know...
uhg.
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