okay, another rant.
its amazing to me how "wrong" or "convuluted" (sp?) i am. cut right to the point....I am in awe of who my REAL friends are. in awe. alot of times i am not a real "become best friends with you" type person. i am friendly, i am nice...but when it comes to hanging out and being THAT kind of friend, ya, i would rather be alone alot of times. unless, i really "click" with a person, and its not work being around that person...then its cool, and our "blooming" friendship is cool.
now, where i have been wrong. well, alot of times in my life, i have been in situations or had experiences, where i have thought that the people i met along the way were only fleeting. take, for example, the dmb group. when i first started getting to know people within the dmb community, i never imagined that i would still be in touch with alot of them in 5, 10 years. in fact, many of them i didnt want to be in touch with....and i am not. however, i think about it now, and my dearest and closest friends are in the dmb crowd. the most special people are from dmb. hell, i am MARRYING someone that i met through dmb.
another example...work people. especially work people. except for Sundance (okay, what other job have i really had as an adult???), i am always shy about forming toooooo close of relationships with people i work with. i like to keep personal and professional separate. sundance was different because i lived, breathed, and ate everything sundance. plus it was salt lake city...who else was i going to hang out with? mormons? bwahahaha! KIDDING. (see, i can say that because, i AM a mormon!). anyway, lets jump to stage one. now, i worked there for a year...and never once did i really want to see any of these people outside of the office. i guess i never really considered them friends, or i didnt really open myself up to them to actually BE friends. its stupid if you think about it, because you spend 40 hrs a week with these people...they see and hear about your life. i mean thats what work is...right? so for them not to be considered friends, well thats just dumb.
its crazy that the people i DID want to be friends, and considered friends...yeah, not so much. i guess i am going off of last weekend when jon's aunts threw me a shower. i invited pretty much every girl that i know here in louisville. my work people, and then the girls are are "friends" but are jonathon's friends girlfriends or wives. the sad...okay not really sad, but eye openeing, thing is that only ONE of the girls that i considered my "friend" showed up...however ALL of the people from work that i invited showed up. that is so....cool. ya know? here, these people are, that i considered friends, dont (honestly) give two shits about me. yet, the people that i (honestly, didnt think i did give two shits about) come out to support me. not only that, but they are planning a party FOR me on their own. they are unconditional, they are supportive, they are amazing people, and I didnt even realize it.
so, yes, i was so wrong. maybe its because i am getting older (ugh), or maybe i have just seen the light, but the people that are my good good good friends. wow, i am i awe of every single one of them. mostly because, they really did come out of nowhere...and yet, they are still here. i dont know.
and i am going to say this...again...cause people keep asking. NO, i dont think i am going to have a bachelorette party. i dont need one. the BEST night I have had in a long, long time was in Seattle at mel and lisa's house. that is all i could ever ask for. good friends, talking about girl stuff. i often think about how cool it would be if we all lived in the same city. crazy fun!
its amazing to me how "wrong" or "convuluted" (sp?) i am. cut right to the point....I am in awe of who my REAL friends are. in awe. alot of times i am not a real "become best friends with you" type person. i am friendly, i am nice...but when it comes to hanging out and being THAT kind of friend, ya, i would rather be alone alot of times. unless, i really "click" with a person, and its not work being around that person...then its cool, and our "blooming" friendship is cool.
now, where i have been wrong. well, alot of times in my life, i have been in situations or had experiences, where i have thought that the people i met along the way were only fleeting. take, for example, the dmb group. when i first started getting to know people within the dmb community, i never imagined that i would still be in touch with alot of them in 5, 10 years. in fact, many of them i didnt want to be in touch with....and i am not. however, i think about it now, and my dearest and closest friends are in the dmb crowd. the most special people are from dmb. hell, i am MARRYING someone that i met through dmb.
another example...work people. especially work people. except for Sundance (okay, what other job have i really had as an adult???), i am always shy about forming toooooo close of relationships with people i work with. i like to keep personal and professional separate. sundance was different because i lived, breathed, and ate everything sundance. plus it was salt lake city...who else was i going to hang out with? mormons? bwahahaha! KIDDING. (see, i can say that because, i AM a mormon!). anyway, lets jump to stage one. now, i worked there for a year...and never once did i really want to see any of these people outside of the office. i guess i never really considered them friends, or i didnt really open myself up to them to actually BE friends. its stupid if you think about it, because you spend 40 hrs a week with these people...they see and hear about your life. i mean thats what work is...right? so for them not to be considered friends, well thats just dumb.
its crazy that the people i DID want to be friends, and considered friends...yeah, not so much. i guess i am going off of last weekend when jon's aunts threw me a shower. i invited pretty much every girl that i know here in louisville. my work people, and then the girls are are "friends" but are jonathon's friends girlfriends or wives. the sad...okay not really sad, but eye openeing, thing is that only ONE of the girls that i considered my "friend" showed up...however ALL of the people from work that i invited showed up. that is so....cool. ya know? here, these people are, that i considered friends, dont (honestly) give two shits about me. yet, the people that i (honestly, didnt think i did give two shits about) come out to support me. not only that, but they are planning a party FOR me on their own. they are unconditional, they are supportive, they are amazing people, and I didnt even realize it.
so, yes, i was so wrong. maybe its because i am getting older (ugh), or maybe i have just seen the light, but the people that are my good good good friends. wow, i am i awe of every single one of them. mostly because, they really did come out of nowhere...and yet, they are still here. i dont know.
and i am going to say this...again...cause people keep asking. NO, i dont think i am going to have a bachelorette party. i dont need one. the BEST night I have had in a long, long time was in Seattle at mel and lisa's house. that is all i could ever ask for. good friends, talking about girl stuff. i often think about how cool it would be if we all lived in the same city. crazy fun!
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