uhg. how can i possibly be less motivated that i was a week ago? and yet, i sure am! shit...i think its the winter blues. every year. its gloomy. its rainy...and i just dont want to do anything except sit on the couch, watch trash tv, and eat ice cream from the carton. and yet....i dont really want to do all of that either. i am TOO lazy to accomplish that! sheesh.
christmas is in 15 days! i havent even STARTED shopping! uhg, uhg, uhg.
so, had a job interview yesterday. and actually...its a position that i would REALLY, REALLY like to do, even though it is only temporary. alas...apparently they are supposed to make a decision by the end of the day today (uhhh, in like an hour)...so that the person can start on monday at the latest. i can honestly say that my jobless luck is not going to change with this one. i know that is very pesimistic (sp??), but thats just how i feel about it. i got along really well with the woman i interviewed with, *I* thought. but i guess one never knows what the interviewer is thinking. and i dont know if going through a temp agency is working for me or against me. IF the person that a temp agency sends over gets the position, doesnt the employer have to pay the temp agency a finders fee? and if thats the case...why would ANY company hire through a temp agency if they have to pay them a fee? seems to me that an employer would want to find the "perfect" individual on their own, thus not have to pay a finders fee.
whatever. how many job interviews do i have to go through until the luck changes? again, everyone i know is getting new jobs (better jobs), without any effort. either that, or advice is given with such ease...as if NOONE has ever had to be unemployed for longer than a couple of weeks. "well, what do you want to do rachael?" well, shiiiit, if i new what ELSE i wanted to do, other than what my employment background consists of, than i would be out TRYING to do it! its just shitty. shitty. shitty. frustrating, and degrading, and discouraging.
so yeah...everytime i think about working, or SEARCHING for a job (cause i SEARCH every fucking day!), the thought of moving comes into my head. but again, its "where?". i guess if it were only me...single...it wouldnt be hard to figure out. i would probably move back to AZ or bite the bullet and move to LA and get a job there. try my hand at that. however, i have a husband to think about, and he refuses to move to LA...and i can tell the thought of moving to AZ by my family makes him extremely unhappy. i dont think that is because he dislikes my family, but i think it has to do with PHX "not being the concert mecca of the country". He wouldnt be able to go to as many concerts living in AZ. he is wanting to move to chicago, or even NYC. which i think to myself "how can we afford to move to chicago (no idea where to begin looking for a job there) or NYC when we cant even afford to live in LOUISVILLE?" i dont know.
i also think that i am tired of the one making the decisions...and being responsible for things. uhg. it seems like things just sit. sit there until i come around to clean them up, return the call, respond to the email, write the thank you card, write the check, or decide to move it. how come i am the only one that worries that we dont make any money? i am sure jonathon worries about it...but i think there is a level of denial there. not to mention, we both are getting way too comfortable with the amex card. that baby is being put away today. its not available to use anymore. period.
can i ever blog a happy blog? ever notice that? most of my blogs are depressed, down-trodden...blah. maybe i will try to learn to insert a picture or something.
christmas is in 15 days! i havent even STARTED shopping! uhg, uhg, uhg.
so, had a job interview yesterday. and actually...its a position that i would REALLY, REALLY like to do, even though it is only temporary. alas...apparently they are supposed to make a decision by the end of the day today (uhhh, in like an hour)...so that the person can start on monday at the latest. i can honestly say that my jobless luck is not going to change with this one. i know that is very pesimistic (sp??), but thats just how i feel about it. i got along really well with the woman i interviewed with, *I* thought. but i guess one never knows what the interviewer is thinking. and i dont know if going through a temp agency is working for me or against me. IF the person that a temp agency sends over gets the position, doesnt the employer have to pay the temp agency a finders fee? and if thats the case...why would ANY company hire through a temp agency if they have to pay them a fee? seems to me that an employer would want to find the "perfect" individual on their own, thus not have to pay a finders fee.
whatever. how many job interviews do i have to go through until the luck changes? again, everyone i know is getting new jobs (better jobs), without any effort. either that, or advice is given with such ease...as if NOONE has ever had to be unemployed for longer than a couple of weeks. "well, what do you want to do rachael?" well, shiiiit, if i new what ELSE i wanted to do, other than what my employment background consists of, than i would be out TRYING to do it! its just shitty. shitty. shitty. frustrating, and degrading, and discouraging.
so yeah...everytime i think about working, or SEARCHING for a job (cause i SEARCH every fucking day!), the thought of moving comes into my head. but again, its "where?". i guess if it were only me...single...it wouldnt be hard to figure out. i would probably move back to AZ or bite the bullet and move to LA and get a job there. try my hand at that. however, i have a husband to think about, and he refuses to move to LA...and i can tell the thought of moving to AZ by my family makes him extremely unhappy. i dont think that is because he dislikes my family, but i think it has to do with PHX "not being the concert mecca of the country". He wouldnt be able to go to as many concerts living in AZ. he is wanting to move to chicago, or even NYC. which i think to myself "how can we afford to move to chicago (no idea where to begin looking for a job there) or NYC when we cant even afford to live in LOUISVILLE?" i dont know.
i also think that i am tired of the one making the decisions...and being responsible for things. uhg. it seems like things just sit. sit there until i come around to clean them up, return the call, respond to the email, write the thank you card, write the check, or decide to move it. how come i am the only one that worries that we dont make any money? i am sure jonathon worries about it...but i think there is a level of denial there. not to mention, we both are getting way too comfortable with the amex card. that baby is being put away today. its not available to use anymore. period.
can i ever blog a happy blog? ever notice that? most of my blogs are depressed, down-trodden...blah. maybe i will try to learn to insert a picture or something.
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